Sunday, April 12, 2015

Merciful Revenge

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I know it has been ages since my last post.  I have been busy with school stuff and other things.

The Homily was about Merciful Revenge.  The Deacon mentioned various situations wherein we would want to seek revenge.  However, there was one specific example that hit me. In my native language, "Gustong maghinganti sa taong nang-iwan sa ere".  Translating, "I want to get back at someone who left me hanging."  It was really what happened to me recently.  I was so mad at this person and I want to do many things to make me feel "peaceful."  But thinking again, will I really feel peace after doing such things?  Besides, I cannot even come up of a plan on how to execute my proposed actions.  I just want to make that person feel that how hurt I was left expecting something but receiving nothing.  In the end, I only have this pain contained inside me. 

Maybe I should just understand and forgive.  Even though deep inside me it is not okay.  I am not okay.  I want something tangible.  Something comprehensible.  A few words of explanation or something would be enough.  I have waited.  And still waiting.  I was angry but the wait did not end.  I calmed down and I am still hoping.  This revenge stays in my head.  I really wanted to do it.  But I can't.  

As Reverend continued his sharing, it reminded me that getting even is not just.  Revenge is something that only fills our ego and not ourselves. We must work and pray hard that we give our mercy and forgiveness rather than our hatred.  Personally this would be challenging for me.  I know what should be done. But most of the time I do otherwise.

I pray that we may show mercy to others as God gives us His infinite mercy.

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