Thursday, June 26, 2014

Pause and Slow down

This is an artwork by Kelly Rae.
I always pause video streaming and let it buffer first before watching it.  Pause is just a mere temporary discontinuance of something.  Similar to me, I am slow in updating my entries.  It has been almost 2 months since my last post.

It has been more than a year already since I left the corporate.  Before resigning, I calculated if I can manage being jobless for the meantime.  Based from my minimum savings account, I could not.  I went back home.  I did managed to survive until now.  God is really gracious that He continuously provides for us.  We are not rich nor live a luxurious life.  But for me it is enough.  More than enough.

As I continue my second year of slowing down, I am pursuing simultaneously things I feel that I want.  I am still praying to God if it is here where He wants me to be.  Last year, I realized that I have to go out of my comfort zone.  I did and I learned a lot about people.  However, the time there was really slow and I got bored.  It was around this time also.  Now I am way too far from my comfort zone.  The travel time is three times longer but I am enjoying every single bit of it.  I am happy.  I felt peaceful.  But then I realized it is similar to my college home.  The atmosphere is almost the same.  I might just be feeling nostalgic.   I kept asking God, "Is this it?"  I think I need to learn how to properly listen to what God is telling.  But it is very challenging.  Why do I have this feeling of being in a comfort zone away from my comfort zone?  It is only my second week in this new environment, yet it feels homey already.  Of course, I knew how to differentiate the homey from unhomey.  I have used many "feel" words already.  I just want to vent this out.

I pray that God will continue to guide me in this lifetime journey.

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